This feeling feels familiar. I have been here before. The feeling of losing, about to, perhaps. I don't know. It is breaking into pieces. The thing I always afraid of, I never wanted this to happen. Nobody wants it.
I am drowning in my own shit.
Fighting for love has never been easy. Its either you win the war and get the princess home or you will be a fallen soldier. You will get nothing but wound, deep in your heart. The worse, you will become heartless, dead. It could be permanent, or take you some times to heal, at least. I once there, couple times to be exact, I fought and fell. Crawled in the war of love, sometimes on my knee. And fell.
I quit, I gave up.
Never talked to a girl very seriously, ever again. Until this one time.
But, past relationship could hurt you so bad. Internally.
I don't want to hurt anyone, anymore. But the wound, makes me nonsense. I cant even talk nicely, I hurt people.
Silap aku, I can't control myself. Knew it. I am not ready to give up, I want to change everything or anything.
I don't know. I am sad. Guilty. I feel stupid. I am sorry.
How I wish I could turn back the time...
The dear diary, will I win the war?
Share On
